Am I being sensitive?

Am I overly sensitive? I don't know. I don't want him to take me for granted. Is it all going down the dumps? It feels like it these days.

I'm gonna learn this song and sing it at the next karaoke session.

Wu Jia Hui - Yi Ren Yi Pan

I never realised that there are so many talented Malaysians out there, some who have finally gotten their first break, while a lot are still looking for that one time opportunity to make it big. I guess its from working with all these Astro people. In this line, I am somewhat closer to the... talent. Few weekends ago we did this show and this really talented Malaysian guy, Wu Jia Hui was the guest of the show. He is based in Singapore now. Why? Because Malaysian talents have very low chances of making it big if they stay in Malaysia. A lot of them go to Taiwan. Simple example, Fish Leong, Kwang Liang, Ping Guan, Penny Tai. And they are BIG now. Malaysia boleh huh.


Anyhow, this Malaysian singer, Wu Jia Hui, is a very humble and sweet person. Can fall in love with him sial! He wrote the song himself!

881 OST - 一人一半 (One Half)

《一人一半》
演唱：伍加輝
改編詞:小寒 曲:伍加輝

一人一半 感情不散
一人一素故 感情才會久
時光累計 安靜的淚滴
一心去追 愛那么可貴

Chorus：
這樣的人 這樣地等
無非是等個回應眼神
為愛翻滾 不計傷痕
甘心為你一生都浮沉

這樣的人 別笑我蠢
傻傻的 心痛也不覺疼
就算天冷 就算殘忍
等你想起這沒用的人

一人一半 感情不散
已經找到愛 為何要離開

時光累計 安靜的淚滴
一心去追 愛那么可貴

Repeat Chorus*

一人一半 感情不散
已經找到愛 為何要離開
已經找到愛 為何先離開

One half each, may our feelings never fade
A bit each, may our feelings last
My silent tears accumulate over time
All out to pursue that precious love

Chorus:
Here I am, waiting for you
You looking back at me is what I want
I toil for love, not caring about the pain
I’m willing to do anything for you

Here I am, silly as it may seem
Foolishly ignoring the pain in my heart
Whatever the fate, no matter how cruel
This fool is waiting to be in your thoughts

One half each, may our feelings never fade
Why walk away from love that is there?

My silent tears accumulate over time
All out to pursue that precious love

Chorus:
Here I am, waiting for you
You looking back at me is what I want
I toil for love, not caring about the pain
I’m willing to do anything for you

Here I am, silly as it may seem
Foolishly ignoring the pain in my heart
Whatever the fate, no matter how cruel
This fool is waiting to be in your thoughts

One half each, may our feelings never fade
Why walk away from love that is there?
Why walk away?

林健輝 - 原來我最愛的人是你不是他

Beautiful song.

林健輝 - 原來我最愛的人是你不是他
Eric Lim - Yuan Lai Wo Zui Ai De Shi Ni Bu Shi Ta

Today is the 2nd session and the topic is 'The Meaning of Life'.

I am so angry when I saw this stupid article in the Star saying that it is now okay for civil servant to hold part time jobs or side businesses! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ALL ABOUT? These people are working 8-5 every bloody day from Monday to Friday and now you want them to spend the remaining hours to earn more money when you guys should be paying them enough for the more than 40 hours they spend at work every week? This is utterly disgusting. I told my bf that it is a very sad time to be in Malaysia now, and it will be worse soon. What can we do for our country, please let us know. Can someone out there help or are we gonna be left dying here? I did a very stupid thing the other day, I sent a msg on Facebook to Uncle Lim Kit Siang pleading him to do something to help us, and especially those with lower income. Okay, I was intoxicated at that time, but still...

I've started going for this church thingy with the bf. I think the church people are very emo. I cannot imagine telling people all my emo stories when I'm meeting them for the first time. Anyhow, I'm supposed to go there with an open heart and open mind, and that's what I'll do. I am there to get to know his faith. I know it matters a lot to him. It's nice that he is 'journeying' (a jargon) with me, but sometimes I feel that his presence will make me reluctant to ask those controversial questions that I always have at the back of my mind, like.... Why do some Catholics refer to God as 'Their' God, or 'My' God, or 'Your' God? Is the Catholic God, the Buddhist God and all the other Gods different? Or is there only one God?

But I am glad, that he wants to be there with me. After every session (2 so far) we will go makan or have a drink and talk about things. Like today after the session, the facilitator explained that normally they will end with a prayer and this is how the Catholics pray (show cross action explain bla bla) and say, okay let's pray. I felt really uncomfortable, as if I'm being forced to eat something that I'm not sure I will buy, and after eating they will make me pay for it. Something like that. I did it though, and thought about it a bit, and realised that the feelings I'm going through is probably similar to what he felt if he had to pray at my place with joss sticks and all. Confusion.. and he said.. feeling as if he's betraying his religion/ faith.

Okay... opening my heart... opening my mind....

All this aside, I think these weekly Tuesdays session will make us closer and allow us to get to know each other more. Last night he said that I must have been a naughty girl in school... laughing and giggling loudly, pretending to look cute and wanting to be the blue eyed girl. Har har

Going for a meeting now. More another day.

Ride horse to work

I forgot to add this part...

As I was in the lift, these two guys were talking about the petrol price increase... and the other guy went..

"Like this ah.... buy horse better la... 5000 bucks only what.. somemore one time only."

I told my mom this and she said it made sense.... can do business importing horses ah?

Sadness part 1

I've never felt the pinch from the other petrol price increase. Never before have I gone to pump petrol when petrol price is rumoured to go up. But yesterday I brought my mom's Estima to the local pump and pump sampai penuh. I came home, my dad said, nolah, it will only go up in August, that's what the minister said. Ya right.

Today when I was driving to Actor's Studio Bangsar I saw the queue at the petrol stations. It is mad!! Today, for the first time, I wondered how much more will I pay for petrol every month. Today I wondered, how much would my pan meen cost. My favourite pan meen from Midvalley and One Utama already cost about RM5. Now what? RM 6.50?

Seriously, I am wondering why they are doing this. My bf asked me earlier on the phone, do you think there's something fishy going on? I told him that I don't think there's anything fishy, just that I cannot for the heck of me imagine why would they increase the petrol price SO MUCH! It is crazy. I am not just thinking of myself. I am wondering about those guys with very very low pay. How the hell are they gonna survive? This is really worrying.

I msged my sister to come home earlier today, because I have this feeling that there would be 'unrest'. Maybe it didn't happen today, but I have a feeling it might happen soon. I feel so sad. I'm not angry, just very sad. And scared. Told mom to replenish her stocks. As I was driving home today after a makeup gig, I kept looking around, looking for... I don't know what... everything looks different. There were more cars than usual...

Dear God, please let there be peaceful change in the country.

p/s: I'm on my third can of beer AT HOME! INI STRESS!!!

pp/s: I'm doing makeup for How I Learnt to Drive! Watched it today. I teared. Haha! It's a very hamsup play btw! And Davina is REALLY good.

Growing up...

Yesterday I went to the bank to collect the check book for our joint current account. Semakin lama semakin serious it seems. Well, it is 'growing up' time so let's just move on! Still procrastinating on the whole renovation thing. Gonggong said 27th May was supposedly a good date to start renovation but since it's past that date, I guess we'll just have to choose another date. Gonggong moved into his new house on that date, so we have this small house warming thingy at his house. Nice, it was good to see the kids, but a bit awkward seeing the uncles and aunties because we don't hang with them often. It was okay, me and my social skills, har har.

There were many times that the teacher would scream out to some random classmates that makeup is not about putting some colours here there and game over. People who do that are not makeup artist, they are makeup applicator. I think I'm beginning to get that artistic part. It is all about correcting or perfecting the imperfections on one's face. I am working harder than ever, and the other day at ASQ some of those fellas told me I did a great job and yeah, I am proud. Today the sifu told me I've improved tremendously, so today is a good day. Although I still need to move faster so that I can go learn to do some hairdressing, especially for bridals. It doesn't have to be a glamourous thing, and it really isn't. I like the flexibility. Move on move on move on!

BTW, the jalan jalan cari makan bug seems to have bitten my entire family. We are all going in a bus to makan jia chui prawns (air tawar, suddenly can't think of what it's called in english) in Panchor, Johor. Very close to the place my dad and everyone else lived when they were small, in Lenga. They actually rebuilt a house on that piece of land and are calling in the ancestral home. Corner lot somemore, don't play play...



Ya...........

Penang - Family Trip 2008

Just came back from family trip to Penang. It's been a makan makan makan trip with some sightseeing and a lot of family bonding. My dad was the one who organised the trip. He was the one who made the hotel booking, bedroom arrangement and even came out with the itinerary. My dad, the one who didn't even know how to use the computer 4 years ago, typing out the room arrangement and itinerary. Planning our entire vacation for us. Words cannot describe the way I felt when I saw the stuff he came out with on the computer. It may not be very much for him now, but I had this emo moment when I saw the printouts. I really love my dad, I know sometimes I do not tell him enough. No, I haven't hugged him in the past 10 years or so, no I haven't told him that I love him ever. Instead, today I told him, Pa, thank you for organising the trip. It is not the same as saying I love you, but it is a start.

I wish I could help you more Pa, in every aspect, but I am not made for it. I'm sorry I have failed and disappointed you so many times, but looking beyond all the expectations that we've set for one another, please know that I do care so much and yes, I love you very much.

Don't judge me for you do not know who I am.

I am very demotivated today. Sometimes I really don't understand how can someone judge you so easily when they don't have full knowledge of your entire life and you you you. I was told not to take it personally, but sometimes I wish that she is more understanding. I've got a lot of stuff going on in my life but that doesn't mean that I place less importance on any of it. Every part is important to me, and I'm trying to make everything work at the same time.

After thinking about it while driving back home, I've decided that it's my life as it has always been, and no one can measure my level of passion, except for me. I will give the best that I can to meet the goals that I've set. Not some goal that some other people have set for me. I got out from the rat race because I'm tired of it, and I am not about to be plunged into another one against my will.

I know what I'm doing, and I am on the right path to be where I want to. At least I'm still on the right track at the moment.

Been working on a research that will lead to something big, hopefully. I will make it work. I will make it work. I will make it work.

Widen the gap please thank you.

All sort of praises are sung for technology, internet, bla bla but I tell you sometimes having easy access to all this information are just... way overwhelming. Sometimes it's better to not know about certain things, and some things are better left undisturbed. With stupid internet, that invisible string that link everyone together is gaining shape and losing the length and I DON'T LIKE THAT.

I prefer to remain in an ignorant bliss. I can get myself away from unpleasant situation and I will, because I have done it before and I can do it again. I know I have a choice.

/emo off

This weekend my family (all 40 of us) will be going down to Pg. I can't wait to makan nonstop... and makan and makan and makan. Will drop by Ipoh for breakfast, but no chicken rice so early in the morning. Wondering where else is good to makan in Ipoh.

Just did another ASQ photoshoot today. The kids kinda grow on you. After a while they seem quite decent. Maybe it's just the maternal side in me showing, haha. 5 of them will be going to some singing competition reality show in Taiwan... all expenses paid... so lucky... I told them that they cannot miss going to the night market. It is zeee bombb I miss Taiwan I wanna go again... So yah, about a month before they start again. Then the elimination will continue again. *sigh* Somehow this attachment is inevitable I think. It's in my nature to get emotionally attached to the things I do or experience.